There's No Crying in Zombieland!
by SleazyWeasley
Summary: Five unlikely companions meet up in the world of Zombieland. With a list of rules, dry sense of humor and a wicked shot they make their way to the north in hopes to discover a cure. *Title is likely to change*
1. Chapter 1

"Eleven! Twelve! Thirteen! FIFTEEN! Double kill!"

The sound of a girl whooping in self congratulations drowned out the other constant noise of gun fire and moaning zombies.

"No way!" Another girl called at the other in annoyance. "You've got to be cheating or something."

"There's no cheating this game, babe," The first girl grinned over at her friend. "I'm just talented like that." She winked at her before blowing off the skull of a stumbling zombie. "Headshot!"

Sounds like a video game, right?

Nope. This is a walk to the grocery store.

Welcome to Zombieland.

Population: Dying.

"Hey Tulsa! Move your ass along." The leader in kills, a short tanned skinned girl with a mountain of blonde dreadlocks adoring her head called back to her friend."We haven't got all day."

"Right behind ya!" Tulsa yelled, narrowly avoiding a zombie's grabbing hands. She quickly turned blasting it away with a sawed off shotgun then jumped over a fallen stop sign to catch up with her partner, Vegas.

"I thought you said you knew a short cut." Tulsa glowered as the two finally slowed to catch their breaths. It seemed that the streets were zombie free for now.

"I do! But I thought the scenic route would be more fun." Vegas smiled widely slinging the strap of the AK-47, her most prized possession, over her shoulder. "Cheer up, Tulsa. The stores just another block."

The two girls seemed an unlikely duo. Vegas was a tornado of glitter and rampaging bullets. While Tulsa, although normally cheerful, was the anchor of sensibility. She was constantly watching out for Vegas while the other girl chose to storm the streets headfirst and shooting.

Still when it came to Zombieland if you found someone you could trust you stuck with them. It was harder seven months into the initial outbreak to find people who wouldn't turn on you either in greed or paranoia.

While Tulsa had been travelling alone for most of her time, Vegas had bounced from group to group for a while before meeting Tulsa somewhere along the New Mexico border. She had just been in California the week before heading towards the rumored "zombie free" amusement park Pacific Playland. It had been a bust though. Apparently some people had turned on the park attracting massive hoards of zombies that never quite left.

Idiots. Although their list of rules they passed on did come in handy.

Tulsa and Vegas, however quickly became acquainted with one another. Somehow enjoying the polar opposite company. The two had traveled all the way to the east coast and were now headed back the other way, camping down somewhere in Kentucky, where the undead population wasn't too bad.

"See." Vegas said waving her hand at the rundown grocery store that finally came into view, "that wasn't so bad."

There were a couple of zombies lingering outside who hadn't noticed that two girls heading their way. Tulsa took the opportunity to up her score for the day. Before Vegas could pull out her gun, that redhead had already managed to mow them down, doing a few double taps just to be sure.

"Cheater." Vegas mumbled stepping through the broken glass doors of the building her gun under her arm.

"Nope. Just talented." Tulsa mocked grinning for the first time that day. She turned her attention though back to the store. It looked like it had already been ransacked quite a few times but there was enough to get them through the next week or so. Until they decided to move on anyway.

It was never a good idea to stay in one place for too long. Eventually resources ran out and you were practically zombie bait.

"Small town people's idea of food is starting to get questionable." Vegas said as she held up some kind of pickled vegetable.

"Watch it." Tulsa said in a teasing manner, "I'm actually from a small town and I can tell you that I've never seen something edible that color in my entire life."

Vegas only rolled her eyes muttering a retort under her breath before rounding the corner leaving Tulsa alone to sort through the near empty aisle. The redhead started picking up boxes and jars, inspecting each item. At this point in their travels they could still choose to be a little bit picky. Only once were they stuck living off of stale bread and cans of vegetables they weren't even able to open.

But that was when they were stuck in "middle of nowhere Ohio." Since then the two had stayed close to suburbs and small towns. While some of the bigger cities were mostly zombie free they were still thriving with survivors. Which sometimes proved to be more dangerous. Zombieland had driven a lot of people close to insanity, bringing out the worst in the human race. Greed for the most part.

Tulsa was inspecting the expiration date of a box of crackers when she heard a loud thud from the aisle over. She quickly threw the box in her grey pack and drew out her gun.

"Vegas?" She whisper-yelled, taking a quick step towards the end of her aisle, peeking her head around. It was clear, only empty boxes and packages scattered across the floor. Tulsa never liked scary movies. And she especially hated those drawn out moments of suspense. Characters creeping through deserted buildings, practically waiting for the monsters to attack. That was her life now though. One big clichéd horror flick.

She turned again, standing at the end of the aisle Vegas had disappeared to. Her eyes raked over the rows lined up side by side but found nothing. Like the rest of the store now it seemed to be empty. Great. Just what she needed.

A small shuffling sound from behind caught her attention though. Tulsa quickly whipped around her hand going to the trigger of her gun. Her nerves were rigid at this point as she crept back the way she came feeling the first pricks of cold sweat gathering on her temple.

"Tulsa behind you!" Vegas cried from the other end of the aisle.

Before she could even think Tulsa snapped her body around her finger quickly pulling trigger. The gun was pointed up however, blowing a large hole in the ceiling above them. The area around her was suddenly full of a white powdery dust, chunks of debris falling to the floor.

"Oh great. I'm sure that attracted every zombie within a five mile radius." An unfamiliar voice grumbled. It was obviously male and from the tone he was clearly annoyed.

Tulsa squinted through the dust her gun still raised as she tried to make out the figure. Suddenly though, just as it was all clearing she noticed Vegas creeping up behind the boy, baseball bat in hand.

"HI-YAH!" Vegas gave some kind of war cry bringing the bat down onto the boys head with sickening thud. Before he could even react, his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he dropped the gun he was carrying, crashing to the floor.

"Uhm. Tulsa paused staring down at the unconscious person than back up at Vegas. "What the hell was that?"


	2. Chapter 2

"So," Tulsa began as her and Vegas crouched over the boy who was still out cold. "Are we just going to start offing defenseless humans along with zombies?" Her tone was cynical as she glanced over at Vegas, who Tulsa noticed, had a bit of a smirk on her face.

"First of all he's not defenseless. He's loaded." She stood up nudging his gun, still clutched in his hands, with the toe of her boot. "And secondly he practically tried to take my head off back there with a _sword._Where the hell do you find a sword!"

"I don't know." Tulsa replied, "Renaissance fair? I had friends who were way into that sort of thing." The redhead glanced back down, inspecting the guy who seemed to come out of nowhere. He looked around their age with short brown hair that seemed like he had been cutting it himself.

When Vegas nudged him over again she noticed a sheath with a handle strapped to his pack. It looked like one of those cheap ones that'd you'd buy at a state fair or convention. The kind with a dull blade so you wouldn't accidently chop your head off.

"I doubt that'd do any real damage." Tulsa pulled the sword out a little, noticing the blade was in fact blunt but suffered a few dents and notches. Maybe he had managed to put it to use it after all.

"Well that thing might not do any damage but he sure can." Vegas straightened up narrowing her gaze at the still unconscious body. He was breathing at least. "I say we take what we can and get the hell out of this town. We can let the zombies deal with him."

They'd come across aggressive survivors before. Ones that had claimed territory, ones that tried to kill them in fear that they'd turn any second and ones that roughed them up and stole their packs. It probably would have been the smart choice to leave him there. Better safe than sorry.

"What happened anyway?" Tulsa asked turning towards Vegas. "I didn't even see him when we came in." While Vegas charged any situation, Tulsa was normally behind her inspecting everything she left in her path. This time though she'd been a little too careless.

"I'm minding my own business," Vegas began, setting up her story like it's going to be some epic tale. "Just browsing through the aisle seeing if there's the slightest chance there might be something edible in this condemnable store, when out of nowhere I feel someone grab me, throwing me to the ground."

She mimics this by tossing her hands into the air and bringing her fists down to land on the back of the boy, who has still yet to wake up.

"So then before I could even, like, scream he puts his hand over my mouth and starts dragging me to the back of the store like I'm some kind of freakin' damsel. The best part is we started heading down your aisle and your back was turned and I swear you'd miss it if he decided to drop a bomb. And you're supposed to be the observant one."

She ends her rant giving Tulsa a playful shove the almost always ever present smirk on her face. Tulsa only responded by grinning and shaking her head at her. She bent down again though, lightly poking the boy in the arm. It had been a while since they'd come across other survivors. She was hoping that when they did however they wouldn't be this violent.

"So what do you think?" Tulsa asked. "Is he here by himself or holding up with another group of people?" He didn't look that bad off and most people tried not to travel alone, sometimes forming gang like groups. It was only the crazies really who tried to survive by themselves.

"Don't know. Don't care." Vegas said, crossing her arms.

"Thinks about it," the redhead started, grabbing onto Vegas' arm. "If he's here with other people maybe they've got supplies. Or even a car we could…borrow."

Vegas turned back towards her, face lighting up in a wide grin. It was hard to find a running car these days and even though all the walking was upping their cardio it would be nice to be able to move from town to town before nightfall when they were more vulnerable.

"I suppose you're right." Vegas nodded, bending down next to Tulsa. "Well let's get him up and talking then." She reached over and pulled the M-16 he carried out of his hands and passed it over to Tulsa. She then threw it in the duffle bag Vegas had carried in and the two girls hauled the stocky boy up with every ounce of strength they had and leaned him up against one of the shelves.

"Hey!" Vegas yelled, patting his face a couple of times with the back of her hand. "Up and at 'em, Sunshine."

They boy stirred slightly, making a low moaning noise. He straightened his head up blinking dark hazel eyes open to stare at his two new captors. Vegas had a hand on one of his shoulders, while Tulsa held her gun pointing it in his direction. She'd shoot before he could even attempt to reach the sword strapped to his back. His jaw dropped as he continued to stare now fully awake.

"What the fuck are you doing?" He tried to sit up but immediately stopped, groaning in pain as he grabbed the pack of his head. "Is that blood?" He snapped drawing back his hand and seeing a few flakes of red.

"Oh man up." Vegas said a smile on her face as she slapped him on the arm as if the two were old friends. "It's just a little scratch. Nothin' that won't heal up in a couple of days…three weeks tops."

He glared over at her a scowl set on his face. He shifted himself again so he was sitting up straight, rubbing his arm. There was still a bit of a dazed look on his face but seemed to be quickly fading away. The boy started to reach for his back and Tulsa quickly moved her gun back in his direction.

"Easy, Red." He smirked lightly at her reaction "This things just poking me in the wrong place." He winked and carefully reached behind him, Tulsa keeping their gaze locked. The boy moved the sheath around and up over his arm until he carefully placed it in front of him. "See. That's just for the zombies."

Vegas rolled her eyes scoffing at him. "Yeah right you nearly tried to decapitate me with that."

"Oh please. I wouldn't have done that. I just needed you out of my store. If I had known there were two of you then I probably would have shot you both dead the moment I saw you." His smile grew as he looked back in forth between Vegas and Tulsa. "Relax. It's a joke." He shook his head lightly as if he were speaking to toddlers. "Now are you two going to let me go or what?"

"Despite the fact that it was a little misunderstanding," Vegas started her voice all business, "you still have attacked and jeopardized my defenseless friend and I here-" she continued, ignoring his noise of protest as he pointed at their guns, "and therefore owe us a favor.'

"Oh bullshit." He threw his hands in the air in protest, "I don't owe you anything. How bout this instead. I get up. I leave. And I don't shoot you in the process."

Vegas' gaze narrowed, a tight smile on her face. "I don't think you're really in a position for negotiations." She said nodded over at the gun Tulsa had still pointed in his direction. The boy stared at for a second then leaned back with a light sigh.

"Alright, alright." He muttered in defeat. "What you want?"

"First things first." Tulsa said, shifting the gun under her arm. "What's your name?"

"Denver." He said with a slight smile. "Nice to meet you."


End file.
